I'm tired of giving everything i've got.

Okay, so for warning, I don't want this blog to sound..idk the word i'm looking for at the moment...immature? i guess..idk i guess what i dont want it to sound like is that i'm boy crazy, or something i guess. So please don take this blog the wrong way.


So first off..i know i'm young. and i just need to be patient. alteast thats what everyone is telling me. But for those who really do know me, know that i'm probably the most impatient person on the planet. So waiting for something pretty much kills me. and drives me crazy.

So anyways; if it isn't obvious yet, i yet again got my heart broken. Which is obviously nothing new to me, seems to happen pretty often.but thats life. Unfortunately, this break-up probably hurt me more than anyone i've had, for many different reasons. But as always with a break-up, there is a lot of anger that follows...well atleast for me anyways. so i guess this blog is just going to be about the anger i have, and not just with the guy who just broke my heart...but for pretty much any guy who has, or will, or any guy who has done the same thing these other guys have.

One important thing for me to find in a guy, is someone who has a strong relationship with Christ. Being a christian is probably one of the most, if not the most important thing on my list. I want a guy who challenges me in my walk, but also is there to help me along. Someone who is confident in is relationship with Christ as well, one who will pray with me, and read the bible with me, or have talks about what God is doing in his life, and is willing to listen and support me in what God is doing in my life as well. I have never not dated a christian man. They have all been christians. But, in a way i feel like it is a good and bad thing. (please don't take that the wrong way) But, i feel like every guy like that also either hides behind guy, or using it as an excuse. I've been dumped about 3 times now over an issue dealing with their relationship with Christ. It's always either a. "I don't have a relationship with christ,and i need to focus on that" or b." I need to figure out where God is leading me, and what he wants to do with my life". Which i honestly respect that...don't get me wrong and i don't want to sound like a (excuse my language) Bitch when it comes to me stating that because it isn't my intention at all...but this is how i feel when it comes to both of those reasonings. First off, if your relationship with christ is struggling, or you need to figure out where God is leading you, it doesn't mean Drop the girl you are with. Just gonna throw that out there.....First of, i feel that in a relationship YOUR SUPPOSED TO WORK ON THINGS TOGETHER! it's a team effort, if your dating a girl who also has a relationshp with christ, it may be better to turn to her and have her pray with you, or help you out. you don't just drop her and say sorry....i mean if you strongly believe that God doesnt think you should be with the girl you are with, then by all means break up with her i guess....but don't do it within the first idk 2days of working on your relationship with Christ.....

i have a lot of anger built up with this one issue, and i feeel like i'm just blabbing and not making any sense. So there may or may not be a second part to this blog. & idk who actually reads my blog. But if anyone has input. Please feel free to share : )


<3