It's been Months since i have blogged. I'm awful at keeping up with blogging! I never have time to do anything online anymore. Especially now since i have 2 jobs. But hey the money is worth it! There really isn't too much new in my life.
I noticed in my last blog, i talked about how my dad will be getting knee replacement surgery. Well everything was a success! He progressed better and faster than anyone thought he was going to! So it was awesome to witness that! my dad is such a strong man! & i'm so proud! :)
These next few weeks are so exciting for me! in 2 weeks i'm heading to the happiest place on earth :) DISNEY WORLD! i'm beyond excited! It's kind of weird how everything fell into place. First it was going to be My mom, Dad & brothers, and all of out "significant others" but through different situations it is now just the orginal 6 of us (mom,dad,joey,jake,max & I) As much as we would all love to have our boyfriend or girlfriend there with us, it will be nice to have one last family vacation before Jake gets married & Joey becomes a father...& before school starts back up for Max & I. & I believe that everyone in my family just needs a vacation!! So i'm beyond excited!
Also I FINALLY start school August 22. I changed schools, but not degrees! I was planning on going to The Chefs Academy. But then i realized i can go to Ivy Tech for free & they offer a pastry program in Muncie! I'm so ready to start school again! i need something new in my schedule instead of just work! I'm ready! It will also be wonderful because Derek is now going to Ball State! So instead of being an hour & a half away, he is only 30 minutes if that! I'm going to love being so close to him!
I can't really think of anything else that going on but I was bored & figured i'd update :)
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Life's Crazy Curve Balls.
well, i haven't blogged in about a month or so. I'm not very good at keeping up with this. But let me just say that a lot has changed since then...
First, my relationship with God, is still a work in progress. I'm still not where i need to be, or where i want to be..but i'm working very hard on it. I guess when you feel like you don't deserve God's love for the mistakes you have made, can really bring you down. But i'm starting to realize & BELIEVE that God will love me no matter what. & even though i may have turned my back on him. He was still holding on. Each day gets better, each day i see something that reminds me how wonderful God really is. Especially now since spring has hit and it's so wondeful outside. & just looking around and seeing/feeling his wonderful creation. God is good... :) I also believe that the past couple of months..(september-february) instead of turning away from God, i should have turned towards him. I went through some pretty rough stuff, that still has an effect on me to this day. But with God's help, i'm getting stronger. again, God is good!! Looking back on where i was in september to where i am now....i have grown tremendously! & I thank God for continuing to bless the broken road that i'm on.
Speaking of blessings...I've been blessed with a wonderful man.
This..is Derek :)
The man that i am completely in love with. I don't even know what to say about him, other than the fact that he is absolutly amazing! I've never had such a strong feeling for someone before...until he walked into my life. He makes me laugh more than anyone has ever been able to do. I can be my complete self around him which is something i love! I don't have to hold back, or try & pretend like i'm something i'm not. When we are together, we just have fun! I love being around him. Unfortunatly, he goes to school in Huntington where i used to go...and thats where we first met :) So the distance is not fun! it kills me when we are apart! but, i'm so crazy about him. & I thank God everyday for bringing him into my life...because i feel like Derek has saved me.. God brought him into my life for a reason. & i couldn't be happier. I've found all i've waited for, & i could not ask for more <3 I've never been with someone who makes me feel like the most beauiful girl in the world..but derek definatly makes me feel that way. I love him more than words can even begin to describe. He is so good to me. & i can't wait to see what God has in store for the both of us :)
Another big exciting/nervous/scary thing that is going to happen here in the next month, is that my dad is FINALLY getting a knee replacement! Which is something he has been needing for years now! Last year they thought they were going to try and do 2 things...1 is that they were going to try & put him in braces to try and straighten his legs out...but we didn't want to go with that option for many reasons. 2ndly they were going to try and do something where they were going to break his legs & try and fuse his bones back together to make them straigther..i believe..something a long those lines anyways...but again for many reasons we decided against that option. So..we put off going to doctors for a while..But in the past few months my dad's pain has gotten worse & it's harder for him to walk & it takes him a while to get up..which breaks my heart. So finally, he decided to go to a new specialist, where they decided they were going to do a knee replacement!! This will add a few more years with his ability to walk. which is one thing my dad really wanted...he told the doctors one thing that really worried him was that he wasn't going to be able to walk me down the aisle when i got married...so hopefully now, he will be able to walk me down..and not ride down beside me on a scooter. That will be an emotional day when my dad WALKS me down :) But anyways..big surgery on April 27th. So prayers are very appreciated!!
Thats all of the blogging i'm doing for now..maybe i won't take as long this next time to blog..
<3
First, my relationship with God, is still a work in progress. I'm still not where i need to be, or where i want to be..but i'm working very hard on it. I guess when you feel like you don't deserve God's love for the mistakes you have made, can really bring you down. But i'm starting to realize & BELIEVE that God will love me no matter what. & even though i may have turned my back on him. He was still holding on. Each day gets better, each day i see something that reminds me how wonderful God really is. Especially now since spring has hit and it's so wondeful outside. & just looking around and seeing/feeling his wonderful creation. God is good... :) I also believe that the past couple of months..(september-february) instead of turning away from God, i should have turned towards him. I went through some pretty rough stuff, that still has an effect on me to this day. But with God's help, i'm getting stronger. again, God is good!! Looking back on where i was in september to where i am now....i have grown tremendously! & I thank God for continuing to bless the broken road that i'm on.
Speaking of blessings...I've been blessed with a wonderful man.
This..is Derek :)
The man that i am completely in love with. I don't even know what to say about him, other than the fact that he is absolutly amazing! I've never had such a strong feeling for someone before...until he walked into my life. He makes me laugh more than anyone has ever been able to do. I can be my complete self around him which is something i love! I don't have to hold back, or try & pretend like i'm something i'm not. When we are together, we just have fun! I love being around him. Unfortunatly, he goes to school in Huntington where i used to go...and thats where we first met :) So the distance is not fun! it kills me when we are apart! but, i'm so crazy about him. & I thank God everyday for bringing him into my life...because i feel like Derek has saved me.. God brought him into my life for a reason. & i couldn't be happier. I've found all i've waited for, & i could not ask for more <3 I've never been with someone who makes me feel like the most beauiful girl in the world..but derek definatly makes me feel that way. I love him more than words can even begin to describe. He is so good to me. & i can't wait to see what God has in store for the both of us :)
Another big exciting/nervous/scary thing that is going to happen here in the next month, is that my dad is FINALLY getting a knee replacement! Which is something he has been needing for years now! Last year they thought they were going to try and do 2 things...1 is that they were going to try & put him in braces to try and straighten his legs out...but we didn't want to go with that option for many reasons. 2ndly they were going to try and do something where they were going to break his legs & try and fuse his bones back together to make them straigther..i believe..something a long those lines anyways...but again for many reasons we decided against that option. So..we put off going to doctors for a while..But in the past few months my dad's pain has gotten worse & it's harder for him to walk & it takes him a while to get up..which breaks my heart. So finally, he decided to go to a new specialist, where they decided they were going to do a knee replacement!! This will add a few more years with his ability to walk. which is one thing my dad really wanted...he told the doctors one thing that really worried him was that he wasn't going to be able to walk me down the aisle when i got married...so hopefully now, he will be able to walk me down..and not ride down beside me on a scooter. That will be an emotional day when my dad WALKS me down :) But anyways..big surgery on April 27th. So prayers are very appreciated!!
Thats all of the blogging i'm doing for now..maybe i won't take as long this next time to blog..
<3
Thursday, February 10, 2011
late nights & sleepless nights..the best time to blog
it's 3:20am. I haven't blogged in almost 2 months. but as i'm laying here in bed. I've had a lot going through my mind. & i couldn't think of anything else better to do than type it out for everyone to see. I'm sitting here kind of reflecting on how far i've come in the past 5 months or so. I re-read my blog from October 2, & also from October 20....I was so hurt, & angry. Reading those kind of opened my eyes. I'd love to say that the hurt and anger are gone. But i can't. I'm still in the healing process. I though i'd honestly be past this by now. But i'm not. With that being said, i have made a lot of progress. & i'm proud to report that even though in the beginning i felt like a nutcase saying that i was going to therapy, i've come to realize that asking for help was probably one of the best decisions i have ever made for myself. & from October-December i was going once a week. Unfortunately towards the ends of December my work schedule got crazy & it was hard for me to schedule appointments, so i haven't gone in a while. I realized though that i finally feel like i'm at the point where i can do this myself now. Which is good. & a BIG improvement. which is what i need to focus on...the bigger picture of my improvements.
One thing that has been hard for me to overcome lately, and something that has been eating at me...is the feeling of betrayal. I spent about 3 months getting close to a certain group of "friends" People who were so invested in their walk with God. We all went to bible studies together, and church, and we were just all involved with eachother.(when cutting out pointless drama & looking at the bigger picture) It was nice to have a group of "friends" like that. At first i had a hard time opening up and trusting them. I have that problem with a lot of things. So i finally did. I let them in. I opened myself up...Only to be shot down... When i got broken up with back in september, i figured someone from that group of (what i so called) "friends" would text/message/call or whatever they would of done SOMETHING to see how i was doing, and how i was holding up. i needed those people the most...and out of idk i'd say about 15 people...out of all of them...only 2 made an effort!...2 PEOPLE...out of 15! I've never felt so betrayed in my life. People who i though were good for me spirtually, and helped me grow to a point in my faith where i had never been before...just turned their backs on me. & left me hanging out to dry. & All that i have taken away from that....is the fact that i no longer have a strong relationship with God...in fact. i haven't prayed or even opened my bible(because i want to)..since octoberish.. So here is a big THANK YOU to the people who have gotten me to this low point in my walk with christ that i have NEVER had....& i blame you! THANK YOU for not staying by my side when i needed you the most...(i hope you understand the sarcasm i'm portraying lol) because really i'm not thanking you.
An opportunity i have gotten lately though is being a Youth Coach at my church...I know anyone who is reading this is probably thinking to themselves..Wow! really!? she just complained about how she hasn't prayed or opened a bible for a long time and she is in charge of teaching teenage girls about christ? Yeah trust me, i know. & judge me all you want. But I can promise you this, i NEVER thought that being with this group of amazing girls, would restore my hope. Would get me back on the right track of where i need to be. These girls are young...and have several questions about different things. & i may not have all the answers to their questions..but what i can say is that i'm learning & growing with them. They may not know it, but they are helping me in my walk with christ. I feel like every Sunday when i see them, and listen to them, & teach them...I'm getting one step closer to where i need to be.I'm still nowhere close to where i need to be. But i know i'm on the right track and i have a group of beautiful 13 & 14 year old girls to thank for that one!
Now, i'm tired. Since i've let it all out there...i'd say i'm done for the night.
One thing that has been hard for me to overcome lately, and something that has been eating at me...is the feeling of betrayal. I spent about 3 months getting close to a certain group of "friends" People who were so invested in their walk with God. We all went to bible studies together, and church, and we were just all involved with eachother.(when cutting out pointless drama & looking at the bigger picture) It was nice to have a group of "friends" like that. At first i had a hard time opening up and trusting them. I have that problem with a lot of things. So i finally did. I let them in. I opened myself up...Only to be shot down... When i got broken up with back in september, i figured someone from that group of (what i so called) "friends" would text/message/call or whatever they would of done SOMETHING to see how i was doing, and how i was holding up. i needed those people the most...and out of idk i'd say about 15 people...out of all of them...only 2 made an effort!...2 PEOPLE...out of 15! I've never felt so betrayed in my life. People who i though were good for me spirtually, and helped me grow to a point in my faith where i had never been before...just turned their backs on me. & left me hanging out to dry. & All that i have taken away from that....is the fact that i no longer have a strong relationship with God...in fact. i haven't prayed or even opened my bible(because i want to)..since octoberish.. So here is a big THANK YOU to the people who have gotten me to this low point in my walk with christ that i have NEVER had....& i blame you! THANK YOU for not staying by my side when i needed you the most...(i hope you understand the sarcasm i'm portraying lol) because really i'm not thanking you.
An opportunity i have gotten lately though is being a Youth Coach at my church...I know anyone who is reading this is probably thinking to themselves..Wow! really!? she just complained about how she hasn't prayed or opened a bible for a long time and she is in charge of teaching teenage girls about christ? Yeah trust me, i know. & judge me all you want. But I can promise you this, i NEVER thought that being with this group of amazing girls, would restore my hope. Would get me back on the right track of where i need to be. These girls are young...and have several questions about different things. & i may not have all the answers to their questions..but what i can say is that i'm learning & growing with them. They may not know it, but they are helping me in my walk with christ. I feel like every Sunday when i see them, and listen to them, & teach them...I'm getting one step closer to where i need to be.I'm still nowhere close to where i need to be. But i know i'm on the right track and i have a group of beautiful 13 & 14 year old girls to thank for that one!
Now, i'm tired. Since i've let it all out there...i'd say i'm done for the night.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
quick blog
clearly i sucked at that whole 30 day picture challenge...i'm over it haha.
i don't have the time to keep up with it, or the motivation!!!!
another note, when to the dr. the other day...& have lost 10 more pounds..HECK YES! i'm so pumped about this, i'm only 8 more pounds away to being the same weight i was in about 7th grade....and only 18 more pounds until i'm at my goal! & i hope to reach this goal SOON!!!! i'm so ready to just be there already!
like i said, short blog. now it's time to study my life away for the evening for my last final tomorrow :) :)
butttt, look forward to another blog coming up soon, with big plans, and things that have been going on lately with me, and also my family :)
<3
i don't have the time to keep up with it, or the motivation!!!!
another note, when to the dr. the other day...& have lost 10 more pounds..HECK YES! i'm so pumped about this, i'm only 8 more pounds away to being the same weight i was in about 7th grade....and only 18 more pounds until i'm at my goal! & i hope to reach this goal SOON!!!! i'm so ready to just be there already!
like i said, short blog. now it's time to study my life away for the evening for my last final tomorrow :) :)
butttt, look forward to another blog coming up soon, with big plans, and things that have been going on lately with me, and also my family :)
<3
Friday, December 3, 2010
Day 4
a picture of something your scared of...
I know, most people are scared of spiders, or snakes, or something normal i guess....i guess it's normal to be scared of tornadoes....but literally i'm deathly afraid....everytime there is a huge thurderstorm I immeditally get the worst stomach ache. & if the tornadoe sirens go off...i start to cry...EMBARASSING i know. I'm 19 and STILL cry whenever the sirens go off....Just the thought that something could take everything in an instant...is a scary thing....I watched the movie Twister when i was like 7 & ever since then....wooh i've been terrified..i'm always scared one is going to hit the house and suck my family up :/ < how sad...lol it's just my train of thought and what i'm most scared of.
I know, most people are scared of spiders, or snakes, or something normal i guess....i guess it's normal to be scared of tornadoes....but literally i'm deathly afraid....everytime there is a huge thurderstorm I immeditally get the worst stomach ache. & if the tornadoe sirens go off...i start to cry...EMBARASSING i know. I'm 19 and STILL cry whenever the sirens go off....Just the thought that something could take everything in an instant...is a scary thing....I watched the movie Twister when i was like 7 & ever since then....wooh i've been terrified..i'm always scared one is going to hit the house and suck my family up :/ < how sad...lol it's just my train of thought and what i'm most scared of.
Day 3
A picture of your favorite memory this year....
SO HARD TO PICK ONE! but i must say that this picture is probably one of my favorite memories of the year. I love these girls, and that week at camp was probably one of the best ever. i loved it. & i couldn't of asked for a better group of girls in my cabin. & even though it's been 5 months since camp, i still keep in touch with them. They may not know this, but this group of girls right there....changed my life.
love them <3
SO HARD TO PICK ONE! but i must say that this picture is probably one of my favorite memories of the year. I love these girls, and that week at camp was probably one of the best ever. i loved it. & i couldn't of asked for a better group of girls in my cabin. & even though it's been 5 months since camp, i still keep in touch with them. They may not know this, but this group of girls right there....changed my life.
love them <3
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Day 2
A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest & what they mean to you.
Well, that man in the picture above, is Josh :) I first met him in the 4th grade at church, & since then we have been best friends. I feel like he knows everything about me, good and bad. He knows every impercetion about me, but still loves me anyways. & that to me, is what a true friend is. I feared once we graduated high school that him and i would drift apart. Because lets face it. We can all tell people we are going to stay in touch after high school. But people start going different directions in their life and you just lose touch. It's a part of life. So i was scared that it was going to happen with Josh & I. But honestly i feel like since we graduated high school, we have gotten so much closer. & i couldn't be more thankful for that. He is my best friend, and i dont know where i would be with out him :)
Well, that man in the picture above, is Josh :) I first met him in the 4th grade at church, & since then we have been best friends. I feel like he knows everything about me, good and bad. He knows every impercetion about me, but still loves me anyways. & that to me, is what a true friend is. I feared once we graduated high school that him and i would drift apart. Because lets face it. We can all tell people we are going to stay in touch after high school. But people start going different directions in their life and you just lose touch. It's a part of life. So i was scared that it was going to happen with Josh & I. But honestly i feel like since we graduated high school, we have gotten so much closer. & i couldn't be more thankful for that. He is my best friend, and i dont know where i would be with out him :)
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