walls..

it seems like these day's my walls are just getting stronger and stronger.& it's getting harder and harder for me to knock them down.& i'm starting to cut myself off from people. Pushing people away because i don't want to get hurt. I just don't feel like i can handle it anymore. I don't want to push people away. But i feel like thats the only thing I can do. I'm feel like i'm losing contact with a lot of people. People who i've gained good friendships with. & idk i feel like i'm in some sort of depression state, even though i'm really happy! I'm always happy. I hate that i'm doing this. & i've realized it. I just don't know how to fix it. Or gain trust for some of the people who i've been talking to a lot. Why is it so hard for me break these darn walls down? It's a problem i've been struggling with for months now. I need advice? maybe? i don't know. eh. it's whatever, i'll get over it. I just need to start over.


Finals week has finally approached.someone shoot me. So much studying! So much packing. & WAY TO MANY goodbyes....
This week has also made me realize that things can happen when you least expect it. Thursday morning i got a text from max telling me that he has been involved in a bad accident. (yes i know not the greastest of ways to be told)An old man who was about 80 and probably shoudln't of been driving in the first place, ran a stop sign and ran right into max. I was heart broken.Everyone who knows me knows that max and I are extremely close, i mean hello he is my twin. So immeditaly i freaked out. He was crying, I was crying, Mom was crying. It was just a hard thing to have to hear that someone you love and car about just got in an accident. Thankfully he was okay. He had to get x-rays just to make sure nothing was broken or anything like that. An thank the good Lord he was fine. The police officers said that if the driver had hit just a little further over closer to max then he would of been seriously injured, or maybe even dead. It's hard to think that he was so close to being close to a bad injury..or even worse being dead. I can't even imagine. God was definatly with him that day.


You can't really see how bad it is in this picture...but his back windshield got knocked out as well..and max was actually traveling the opposite way..The guy hit him so hard he spun around and was facing the opposite direction of what he was going.



anyways;
thats all for now




<3