God has really been tugging at my heart these past couple of weeks. In good ways and in some difficult ways i guess you could say. I guess the main thing that has been going on is asking for forgiveness. I was sitting at Lance's house the other night waiting for him to get home. & he had KLOVE radio station playing, and i don't remember what the song was called, but it was about asking for forgiveness, and being forgiven and it just really hit me. There are a lot of people that i need to ask for forgiveness. & in a big way. I realize that lately I have hurt a handful of people. With some of the things i have either said or done, or not done. & even though i had a good reason for doing what i was doing. I realize that in their eyes it probably wasn't a good reason. So this week, i took a step...a very difficult step...and confronted these people. Which those of you who know me, know that confronting people is a HUGE issue I have, so this was definately not an easy thing for me to do.
In doing this, i have had some people forgive me, and we are now moving on an gaining friendships back. There has been some who won't even acknowledge the fact that i have tried to apologize, which has been difficult. But I keep telling myself that God has a reason for everything. & he has his own timing. And i need to learn to accept that and move on with life.
One thing that i don't understand though, is how you can be friends..best friends with someone for such a long time. & never be mad at the person, and they have never been mad at you. Then you do one thing wrong, and it's like you did the worst thing possible, when in reality it was a little thing that you did wrong. But the other person will literally ruin a friendship over that.
Reality is so hard to get a grip on sometime. I feel like i have done what i needed to do, i've asked for forgiveness. I've been apologized to as well, It's all in Gods hands now. He knows who is going to stay in my life, and by my side. So it's all in his hands and i HAVE to trust his judgment.
Thats all of my venting for now :)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
i haven't blogged in such a long time i feel like. So whats up with me?
well, i'm 10 pounds lighter :) so that makes me feel great! even though i look in the mirror and can't see it, people around me have noticed..and it makes me feel great!
I recently got back from a week of camp. I usually go to Rainbow Christian Camp. But my best friend asked me to be a councelor at a Camp Challenge. I honestly did not rknow what to expect. But let me tell you, that week of camp was probably one of the best weeks of my life. It was absolutly amazing! I was nervous because i had never been a councelor before. & i was nervous about how the girls in my cabin would be. I was nervous about how i would handle situations that would arise with the girls in my cabin such as homesickness and girl drama, stuff like that. I had been praying for weeks about this week of camp and that it would go well. & let me tell you God blessed me with the most AMAZING girls in my cabin. I loved every single one of them and grew close to them. We were all unseperable by the end of day 1. and througout the week it only got better, and we grew so close! And the most amazing thing was that all of the girls except for 2 live in ANDERSON! & the 2 that don't live very close. We are already planning a sleepover and girls day and i love it! being away from these girls has definately been a challege, because i miss them so much! But i love that we can all stay in touch. God worked in everyones life throughout that week, and it was awesome to feel his presence. I miss camp and wish i could put that week on replay!
It's 2:15 in the morning. and i'm finally starting to feel tired. So that is all for now :)
Love<3
well, i'm 10 pounds lighter :) so that makes me feel great! even though i look in the mirror and can't see it, people around me have noticed..and it makes me feel great!
I recently got back from a week of camp. I usually go to Rainbow Christian Camp. But my best friend asked me to be a councelor at a Camp Challenge. I honestly did not rknow what to expect. But let me tell you, that week of camp was probably one of the best weeks of my life. It was absolutly amazing! I was nervous because i had never been a councelor before. & i was nervous about how the girls in my cabin would be. I was nervous about how i would handle situations that would arise with the girls in my cabin such as homesickness and girl drama, stuff like that. I had been praying for weeks about this week of camp and that it would go well. & let me tell you God blessed me with the most AMAZING girls in my cabin. I loved every single one of them and grew close to them. We were all unseperable by the end of day 1. and througout the week it only got better, and we grew so close! And the most amazing thing was that all of the girls except for 2 live in ANDERSON! & the 2 that don't live very close. We are already planning a sleepover and girls day and i love it! being away from these girls has definately been a challege, because i miss them so much! But i love that we can all stay in touch. God worked in everyones life throughout that week, and it was awesome to feel his presence. I miss camp and wish i could put that week on replay!
It's 2:15 in the morning. and i'm finally starting to feel tired. So that is all for now :)
Love<3
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